As a parent, I've been on a process that has gradually led me more and more towards focusing on a child's strengths. This process is one that I hope to bring with me into the class room. This process started one December when I realized that my daughter was a source of constant noise, like a radio left on. Her excitement was made manifest in sound- bits of song, monologue, and sometimes just random little bleeps, something that was a bit like a Looney Toons soundtrack. Fast forward a few months and a number of doctor and psychologist visits, and I had a new way of thinking about my noisy, impulsive little girl. ADHD isn't unfamiliar to me, but what was new was looking at my daughter and having a negative label stuck to her. So I set about learning all I could,thinking all the while how crazy it is that not being able to sit still is BAD, while so much of what I read didn't focus on the incredible creativity and leaps of logic and innovative problem solving that is so often part of the ADHD brain. As I began to re-vision my own child, creating a new way of defining and understanding her, I felt that I was also able to see other children and adolescents in this new light.
Focusing on strengths, not weakness, isn't hard to do. It's actually pretty fun. I stood back and tried to observe my daughter, those parts that drove me crazy and those parts that I most loved, and I realized how connected the two are. She isn't a detail person, she's a big picture thinker. She doesn't like to take her time, she likes to dive in and take on more than she should. She's not calm and quiet, she's full of life and activity. When I started to 'catch her being good,' complimenting her for doing things well, I found my relationship with her taking on a whole new depth. I always loved her, but I found myself liking more and more about her.
It isn't that I ignore the weaknesses. As far as school goes, my daughter is a horrible, horrible speller. She leaps ahead, ideas going so fast that it's hard to slow down enough to take the time to communicate those ideas in words that make any sense to a reader. We've talked about this. Fourth grade will be the year of working on spelling. But spelling is only part of the whole equation, there are also the brilliant ideas and the uncanny ability to figure out the meaning of complex materials.
As I think about education, I think about this delicate balance: focusing on strengths, facing our weaknesses. How often do we, as parents or educators, stop and take a good, long look at how we talk to the young people around us? Do we see their strengths? Do we build their enthusiasm in learning? Do we catch them being wrong so often that we no longer are able to see what they do right?
